The Fringes of Theater ~or~ I am now a Consumed Actress –slash- Promoter

When I was actively pursuing becoming a published author, which will still happen one day, everything I did was fodder for my craft. I observed life as a running commentary. I narrated my life as I drove along, or walked the dogs, or did what the heck ever. I looked at everything in terms of  how to describe it through using my senses, what I could compare it to for a snappy metaphor or simile, how it would move the story along. Ad nauseum.

And now, I am Jennifer the Actress. So, everything I do is in some way promoting, enhancing, furthering my life as Theater Goddess.

Examples:

• I have all these contacts who are now being seen as sponsors for Spanish Fork Community Theater. How can they help us in our program? How much would you like to give this year? (Notice I didn't say "would you like to contribute?" but just--"how much?") 
•  I listen to songs and think, gee, that would make a great audition piece. Or, that would be so great as background music in such and such a scene. 
• I think costumes all the time--going to thrift stores to keep adding to my costume box of delights. Thinking, should I really get rid of this? I mean, it would be so cute if I played (fill in the blank.) 
• I am using my knack as pushy marketing person to get funding, donations, sponsors. It's like breathing to me to find strategies to get people to part with what they have to support what I have going. 
•  I want to become an eyelash extension putter-onner. There is a more technical term, oh that's probably it--technician--but it's late at night and I didn't think of it quickly. So I want to be an Eyelash Extension Technician and then I find myself planning: if I became an Eyelash Extension Technician, I could get so many clients in the theater world! You know what a bother it is to keep buying and putting on fake eyelashes, with all that glue nonsense and the fake eyelashes can come off during a performance, like one did when I was in "Hairspray" and I had to run frantically to find some glue so I didn't look like I was winking at the audience for the entire second act! Permanent(-ish) eyelashes would be so convenient, so confidence-building, such a time saver, blah da dee blah dee blah.

The idea that everything has a theater meaning is part of me now. My focus is--how does this affect me as an actress?

I admit, I still miss Jennifer the Author. But I have had more success as Jennifer the Actress in the relatively short time since last June when I auditioned for "Hairspray" than I ever did as Jennifer the Author. Jennifer the starving Author became Jennifer the successful Editor who never had time to write. True, I will probably make very little money as Jennifer the Actress, though you never really know, do you? But all the other stuff that goes along with it--well, there could be money there. And if not, there's always one more rewrite of Riding Magic, my horse girl novel that actually is pretty good.

Hey, maybe I can make it into a play.

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Frankenstein at Salty Dinner Theater--Happy Birthday to Me!

I had the great fortune to review Salty Dinner Theater's Romeo and Juliet--Choose Your Own Adventure last February. Here is the review: http://utahtheaterbloggers.com/4240/rj-by-salty-dinner-theatre-a-patrons-perspective/
Here is the link to the theater company: http://www.saltydinnertheater.com/
That review isn't what I want to talk about in this blog, though. What I want to say is that I made friends with everyone involved with that show--added the various folks as Facebook friends and whatnot. And made a dear friend of the theater company's owner Mary Zullo Brassard. I love her! She has invited us to her various shows since for free, such a sweetie.
We went to see Frankenstein last night. I had invited a variety of friends to come (Mary offered half-price tickets to all my guests--nice!) and 14 came. It was my birthday and that made it even more fun.
We sat at a long table--some friends from Hairspray, some kids who have been coming to our summer game nights, my stepdaughter and her new beau, a woman I worked with years ago, and my boss @ UTBA (http://utahtheaterbloggers.com/) came. Okay, yes, he's my boss. I've worked as a UTBA reviewer for almost a year. BUT I've never met my boss in person til he was sitting at my table. I hugged him, thrilled to have another person at our crazy table.
The show was hilarious. Our table was maniacally funny. Caden was asked to be the character William, who gets killed. Caden apparently does a great death scene since this was his second gig for Salty Dinner Theater. Mary, who is Igor in the show, gave us special attention, it seemed, and we loved it.
My Hairspray friends were loud, hysterically funny, and awesome. My stepdaughter's beau had never met us before. I hope they're still dating. My friends were nutty. Um, I was, too.
I love this dinner theater company. I love the original scripts, yes, and the quality of actors in the shows, yes. But they have the improv necessary for this kind of intense interaction with the guests down perfectly. They glide along, kicking the play into high gear, but if there is any glitch or change caused by a patron watching the show, these awesome actors just play along. (Slight pun. Get over it.)
Mary said she'd like us to be in one of her productions. I hope we can do this. I asked Caden if he could handle the improv nature of this. At first he said he didn't know. But then he said, "Well, I don't need to be okay with it. My character does. So yeah, I could do it." Good answer.
I feel super blessed for the fun night I had with Mary and her crew. There are few things as fun as actually performing onstage, but being able to see great theater with great friends is right up there.
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The Zombie Movie Make Up Meeting--Frickin' Awesome!

I told the director I knew how to do make up. Well, I did do some theatrical make up in college. We did faces like Cats. That's it.
When I got to the make up meeting on Saturday morning, I realized almost instantaneously that I was completely out of my league. And felt so dorky. I am not a make-up artist. And the people in the room were.
So I sat there with my husband, who came to the meeting because it was my birthday and he was being supportive, and with my son, who wants to be a Zombie Extra.
Soon, we were so transfixed with the director, his spooky, somewhat formulaic storyline, and his amazing enthusiasm, we were like, no, we don't do make up. But put us to work anyway!
The director is so enthusiastic. He wants to make a 10- to 15-minute Zombie short. He wants gore. He wants karate fighting, guns blazing, lots of blood. He is making the kind of movie I would never go see.
But I get to be IN it, as a zombie extra, and as the make-up assistant, and as a secretary-type assistant. (I offered these services after the meeting proper ended. I was too embarrassed to raise my hand and say, "I do not know enough to do what you want me to do, but I can do this other thing instead.")
Okay, I'm like super excited. It's going to be frickin' awesome, which is something he said about 10 times in one hour. This guy is infectious. And not the creepy zombie kind of way, but the, I cannot WAIT to be a part of this way.
My husband asked, "I'm going deer hunting. Do you want me to save the entrails?"
The make up people and the director all groaned, which I thought was hilarious. They are creating this creepy movie. But the real thing is gross? Too fun!
I have found three more zombie extras to be in the film already. We need 150 to sign up so we can anticipate that many won't show up. The director kept talking about the 'flake rate'. It's kind of like when you invite people to a party. Expect half the people to attend.
In our household, we are already talking about the clothes we want to get @ DI--costumes that can get slathered with blood. We will all get two outfits a piece.
I am hoping my husband just throws caution to the wind and becomes a zombie extra, too. I mean, how often can you be in a movie about zombies? Not many, I'd say. He would be considered the coolest high school English teacher in the world. That's what I think.
I have never seen a real zombie movie. I saw the goofy one in Super 8, though. I think we need to a real one, don't you? Anybody got a copy of The Night of the Living Dead I can borrow?
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Hairspray Reminiscences--6--Divas

In Hairspray, I was able to 'experience' several different types of divas. They fell into three categories:
1. The "I have so much knowledge, I must try to direct every scene" type. These people quote the books they've read, classes they gone to, and of course, the many varied parts they've played in the 300,000 shows they've been in. They are passive-aggressively pushy, and most of their comments are along the lines of, "Of course you want my advice. I'm just so knowledgeable. And I'm only trying to make this the best production, so what's wrong with that?"
Several people of this ilk told me how to play Prudy. Not only did this irk me, it made me lose my confidence, something I didn't have a whole lot of when I was first cast. It also made me feel sort of fuzzy, like maybe I shouldn't have really gotten the part.
2. There was the total freak out diva. Just one in this show, but one was more than enough. He got in front of the cast several times and freaked out. I don't know how to say it any other way. He was not only completely negative, he scared me, gesticulating as he frantically screamed, repeating "This isn't me" over and over again. Scared the hell out of me, to be honest. One time, he completely lost it and said that we weren't ready to put on the show yet. All of us cast members sort of looked at each other like, now what? Then we realized, who is this guy and why are we listening to someone who is going berzerk? This guy yelled at us about being yelled at by the director. Though he said he was a 'professional', when the director asked a group of the teen council men to sing one song as a back up a capella number, this guy said he "didn't feel comfortable" doing it. (My son, years younger than Mr. Diva was THRILLED to try the a capella. Which makes me think--define professional, will you please, Mr. Diva?) If I never am cast in another show with this person, I will be one happy actress.
3. The Spotlight on Me person. We had one of those in the cast, too. No matter what scene she was in, she hogged it. She went against the director's rule about not cutting her hair and cut it. She refused to wear her costume as she was required. When asked why she did that, she flippantly replied, "I didn't feel like it. I was bored." She demanded that her part be expanded in the show. The director acquiesced and then she reamed him out because he didn't give her enough of a starring role. (As an aside, the director had a mini breakdown and a large part of it was the Miss Diva.) She is a lovely, talented woman with a great look, voice, and dancing prowess. And she was such a pain in the neck. She also brought her toddler to many of the rehearsals and I spent many a moment during those already tedious rehearsals worrying to death that this kid, who clearly has never been told how to behave, would get hurt or even killed. This woman also left her infant baby in the dressing room during performances. This room was often only populated by this darling baby. Thank God there were no baby snatchers. I mean this.
The thing is, theater is one area that there are always more actors than there are parts. There is almost always another person, and maybe 100 people, who could replace you in one second. Why would anyone choose to act like a pushy, bossy, loud-mouthed, insane know it all, I'm-so-much-better-than-you loser when they could be replaced with someone who could do as good a job or better and be easy and fun to work with?
Especially in community theater?
Fie on all divas. You almost ruin things for those of us who have fun, teamwork, personal and professional growth, and social contacts as our goals.
And just from me. You are NOT all that!
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"Legally Brunette" review

Here is the link to the review: http://utahtheaterbloggers.com/7163/legally-brunette-mostly-makes-a-case-for-laughs-and-entertainment/
Here is the text. See how I am so politic and complimentary. My editor for the blog said this was my best writing yet. Here's the real deal. I was horrified about their storyline. Read on.

URRAY — Desert Star Playhouse is usually sold out and there’s a reason why. The staff at Desert Star knows what they’re doing, and they do it well. Don’t let this dissuade you from trying to get tickets, though. Just plan ahead. Their current feature, Legally Brunette is a parody of Legally Blonde, first a movie (and a sequel) starring Reese Witherspoon, and now a Broadway musical. I admit, I’ve never attended the musical version, but have seen the first movie. As I watched the show I wondered, how many people in the audience were familiar with the original show, and how much it mattered if you weren’t familiar with the show. From watching the show—and watching the people who were watching the show—I’d say few have seen “Legally Blonde” and most everyone in the audience loved Legally Brunette. So there you go.
Legally Brunette, directed by Scott Holman, is about Elle Woods (Kelly Knight), who went to Harvard Law School to win back her boyfriend. But as the show starts Elle has just graduated and is now working in Los Angeles, and all thoughts of old boyfriend are gone. Through illegal means, the sleazy defense attorney, Melvin Farkas (Matt Kohler), thinks Elle is stupid and will help him win the case for the alleged murderer AJ Sampson (Justin Berry). So Melvin schemes to get her hired for the district attorney’s office. Elle works for Marcia Clunk (Liz Christensen, also the choreographer), a frumpy prosecutor whose whole life is the law. The cast is rounded out by Judge Judy (Michelle Page Dillon), scruffy cop Lenny Brillo (Ben E. Millet, also the playwright), and hottie cop Joe Hunk (Bryan Dayley). Matthew Mullaney plays various witnesses, including Napoleon Dynamite.
I took my 15-year-old son with me to get a teenager’s perspective. We were taken to our seats in the mightily smooshy dining room. If I have anything against Desert Star, it’s that they smash too many people into the audience. I am not prone to claustrophobia, but I got a little freaked out as I watched the servers lug huge trays covered with full glasses of drinks amongst all us audience members. Also, although my main purpose of my visit was to review the show, I should say that something about the food because we did eat there. Basically, the food was only okay.
The shows at the Desert Star always begin with the introduction of the musical hostess, Tracy H. Hales. She plays a Nickelodeon-type music throughout the show. At first, it’s a little disconcerting, but you get used to it and don’t notice it after a while. In this show, as it’s a cop/murder trial type, music from that type of genre is sprinkled through the show. As I said, you don’t notice the running music after a while, but my son mentioned something I hadn’t thought of before: because the music is almost constant, it leaves little possibility for actors to have anything but perfect timing. This is a good and a bad thing. My son said it seemed like they were spitting out their lines to make sure they kept up with the music. I like the surprise of live performances, acting in them as well as watching them, and the continuous music lessens the surprise a bit.
Kelly Knight’s Elle Woods is perky, fun, and has a great voice. She encompasses the almost impossibly upbeat Woods. I realize it’s ridiculous that any such character would actually exist, one that has a signature color (purple) and thinks that every problem can be solved by merely getting a makeover, but I found myself charmed by this. Knight is believable, likable, and perfectly bubbly. In the end, Elle does give some makeovers (I won’t say to whom) and does change their lives, so who knows? Maybe the notion of making the world prettier and more positive isn’t such a bad idea after all.
Liz Christensen’s Marsha Clunk is so delightful to watch, I stopped paying attention to the story sometimes just to watch her move onstage. It makes sense that she is also the choreographer. She moves around the stage with such grace and agility. There’s a funny scene where she’s trying to sit on a toilet that is just a painted backdrop, and Christensen made me giggle somewhat hysterically. Christensen doesn’t just have the dancing moves, she has physical comedy down to an art.
Matt Kohler’s Melvin Farkas is so devious as the stereotypical scum-sucking attorney; we love to hate him. His client, Justin Berry’s AJ Sampson, is very good, too, with big physical moves, up-to-date “ghetto” vernacular, and even sings a rendition of “Pants on the Ground” that made the audience roar. These two had good chemistry and were fun to watch.
The two cops, Millet’s Brillo, and Dayley’s Hunk were also stereotypical, but were top notch and both actors played them winningly. Brillo and Hunk seem unlikely partners, which made them all the more enjoyable. They both had many of the “drop your suspension of disbelief” lines in the show. For instance, the two cops “drive” up in a car made of fiberboard, and at one point say something like, “What are you doing? This isn’t even a real car.” I love this device—done right, it’s pretty funny. In this show, it’s hilarious.
Judge Judy, played by Michelle Page Dillon was a cute role and Dillon did it well, but I am looking forward to seeing this actress do something more challenging. She has a lot more to give. In every scene he was in, including the last dance and song number, Matthew Mullaney as the various witnesses stole the show. He was so good that I would go see him in a one-man show. He is a chameleon, and my son and I just loved him.
One of the things I love about the Desert Star is they have a great package. By this I mean that they:

• Amass an amazing group of talented performers.
• Have wonderful attention to detail with their set design. Check out Farkas’ office. There are photos of him with Schwarzenegger (about whom there were several jokes), with Mel Gibson, and a few other ne’er do well celebrities. Desert Star does wonderful backdrops, scrims, and other vehicles that make that rather small stage come alive.
• Their sound system is flawless. I’ve never heard any of that messy microphone static that plagues so many theaters.
• Their costumes are beautiful. Perfect, really.

The one issue I had with Legally Brunette was the actual storyline. Necessary to the plot is a vehicle for the ditzy Elle Woods to prosecute a big murder case. I get that. But using the OJ Simpson trial as that vehicle was remarkably distasteful and dated to me. There is and never has been anything remotely funny about that tragic situation. I would have liked it if Millet had created a fictitious murder trial. All the aspects could have been there—the celebrity murder suspect, the frumpy prosecutor, the slimy lawyer. But to be honest, once I found out it was about OJ Simpson, I had to reach to look for good in the show. Thankfully, as you can tell by my review, there were lots of likeable things in this show. But I really was quite put off by the storyline.
After the musical, the Desert Star has a revue. Because Halloween is approaching, ‘tis the season for zombies. So all the players went backstage, put on zombie clothing and zombie makeup and came out and sang and danced in a bunch of very lively musical numbers. It was fun and I especially liked Oingo Bingo’s “Dead Man’s Party” and Rocky Horror Picture Show’s “Time Warp.” Both songs reminded me of my bygone college days. I admit, I sang “Time Warp” right out loud. What do I care? I’ll never see these people again.
There was a funny zombie talk show bit where horror movies were discussed. This was a vehicle to lampoon celebrities and other famous people. What I like about the Desert Star is they are equal opportunity lampooners. The obligatory jabs at BYU and U of U were there, but presidential hopefuls Huntsman and Romney were joked about, President Obama had one, Oprah Winfrey was mentioned, as well as our own beloved Donny and Marie, and several others. This was pretty funny, and got a lot of laughs. There was also a pretend comedy TV show with Zombies and it was funny and a little bit gruesome, but understandable considering the whole revue was about the living dead.
As I wrap up this review, I will “Legally Brunette” about a 6 out of 10. This is one of those situations that—though everything went perfectly—the storyline of the show was upsetting to me. As I looked around, I didn’t see one person who looked dismayed or disgruntled. My son, who’s unfamiliar with the OJ Simpson case, gave the show a 9 out of 10. So maybe I’m being too picky. Or maybe I’m trying to be too philosophical or concerned about what we consider entertaining, as if I’m the live musical theater police. I do realize that murder mysteries are very popular and always have been. But this show’s use of the devastating, heartbreaking OJ Simpson trial and the tragic deaths of his ex-wife Nicole and Ron Goldman was in poor taste and for all its fun, I can’t heartily recommend the show. You may want to pass on this one and catch the next Desert Star show.

Legally Brunette plays at Desert Star Playhouse (4861 S. State Street, Murray) on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at 7 PM, Fridays at 6 and 8:30 PM, and Saturdays at 11:30 AM, 2:30 PM, 6 PM, and 8:30 PM on Saturdays through October 29. Tickets are $13.95-$17.95. For more information, visit www.desertstar.biz.

Impossible Mystery Closing

We closed the show proper on Friday night, just as the show began to gel. I hope the show has a longer run next year, and I hope I'm in that production. I had a lot of fun on Fri, took some risks, slowed my lines down (it felt like I was talking through molasses but I think it actually worked) and just had a blast.
Saturday we did one scene, the Italian Pasta Mob at the Highlight Club scene. It isn't the funniest scene in the show. But no matter what, it was anti-climactic. Anybody who saw that scene, performed on the little ersatz stage behind the library, and thought, gee, I'd like to go see that show, didn't get to. The show had already closed. Hopefully next year they'll do a Monday night show.
I had gotten some cookies donated from Macey's and that didn't work as well as I'd hoped. I would hope next year that will be handled better, too.
Oh, so many lessons learned. So many yet to learn.
I had a little gathering after the show on Friday night. Exactly three people came. While this wasn't that upsetting to me, it was clearly showing me that the fun times I had when I invited the Hairspray cast over cannot be replicated. First, the cast of Impossible Mystery never all worked together in one big group until the tech night. We rehearsed only the scenes we were in, and some of us never overlapped. Second, the run was short. Third, most of the cast's family and friends came on that Fri night and cast members gathered with their loved ones after the show. My party was not scheduled at a time when most people could come. But honestly, maybe they didn't want to...
The lack of party guests reminded me of the lobster scenes in "Annie Hall". See clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWtgUq9mfx0&noredirect=1
We have our 'official' cast party this Friday. It should actually be pretty fun, if we can have it at Anna's house. She has a backyard of wonder. (To go along with her Costume Sheds of Wonder.) But since I have no real synergy with these people (and I wish so much that I had had enough time to get that synergy) I wonder if we'll all just shove chips in our mouths, talk to the people we know well and go on our merry way. I would very much like to have an A-C-T-I-V-I-T-Y but again, I'm not in charge. It would be nice if I could just be the fun director with every activity I go to. It would be so much easier.
Now I have no show to be in, worry about, feel good about. (sigh)
Keep playing! (Whenever, however you can!)

Impossible Mystery--Second Night

We. Had. A. Great. Show.
It felt so smooth. It was really fun and I didn't have any icky fuzzy feelings. I felt in a groove.
I haven't worked with these people for as long as I did Hairspray, so I don't think I'll feel the tug of their loss like I did my cast members from Baltimore.
But I am in something great. I thought it'd be corny. But my husband said, "This is so much cuter than I thought and it's a shame more people are seeing this."
I love doing this and just love being Oba San and Lady Chattaway. Doing two different accents has been a hoot.
Dane, who plays the Client told me tonight that my red lips look like blossoms.
I love actors. They say the funniest things.

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A Spiritual Feeling, Not a Lack of Confidence

I was so hopeful that I would get cast for the newest OBT show. The assistant director really liked me, said we had a connection. I started to really see myself being in that show.
Today, I stopped having that feeling. I wondered if I was just losing confidence. But no, it just didn't feel right. I didn't audition in front of the director, and I just *knew* he wouldn't cast someone he hadn't seen for himself.
I can say I'm sorry about this, but there are many reasons why this is perfectly okay, too. I was worried about traveling to SLC in bad weather, missing my family during the holidays, unsure that I can handle a big lead right now.
And our plans to move ahead with making Edward Bloor's novel Story Time into a musical are moving forward steadily.
I feel very strongly that God is in control of my theater career. I know that sounds strange, but it's true.
I also want to get myself into better shape, before the winter really is here.
I'm not making excuses. I feel peace and no sorrow. This is what it's like to be spiritually connected. It is wonderful.
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Waiting to hear

I felt so peaceful when I went to audition yesterday. It was fun. It felt good.

I had let it all go. God is in control and all that good stuff. Then I found out I may not hear until Friday if I got the part. 

I wrote on Facebook: You do all you can and pray about it and leave it up to God. Then, you have to wait and find out how it will all play (pun!) out. And then you go, I may not find out tomorrow but on Friday? And then you go, forget what I said. I really want this! I really really want this! I'm not all Zen about it. I want it.

Keep playing! And for me, agonizing...

Impossible Mystery--Opening Night

I made up my mind last night that I was going to be very low key today. For me, organizing things, cleaning house, baking things helps. I get all domestic when I need to chill out. I like order and my house is a good place to start.

So today I made a starter for sourdough bread. At first I thought I could just bake the bread today and when I found out it had to sit for a whole night I was a little bummed. But then I pulled out my box of peaches and made 8 pints of jam. There. How's that for creativity and domesticity?

I walked my dogs in sprinkling weather. I avoided doing any business, though I could have done a few things. I didn't want to be muddled. After last night's mess, I knew I needed to stay focused on being calm and controlled, not harried and complicated. I got things ready for the show--namely, my own pair of black pants to wear under my Japanese robe when I play Oba San. Last night, the pants that came with my costume fell down to my hips. Oba San started looking suspiciously gang banger. Not a good look!

I felt fuzzy--PTSD fuzzy. Opening night for Hairspray I had felt horrible--like I was walking on marshmallows. I was so worried I'd puke onstage. Not that I felt sick. I think I was just imagining the very worst thing that could happen to a person in front of hundreds of people, and that would be puking. I realized by Night Two of Hairspray that a little Xanax takes the panic of barfing right away. So tonight, when I started feeling all floaty and fuzzy, I took some Xanax. It didn't help. I took more. (And be clear here--my doses are miniscule bits off of a pill. I am not downing pill after pill.)

I went to pick up the cookies Macey's donated (adorable sugar cookies with white frosting and a question mark), came home, put on my make up including false eyelashes. (I love false eyelashes.) I toyed with the idea of trying to 40s up my hair, but the fuzzy feeling persisted. Caden went through my lines with me AGAIN, and off we went to opening night.

By the time I got to the theater, I started feeling normal. I started looking forward to the performance. Here's what happened:

1. I broke the glass I was holding in the Highlight Club scene. This is after another glass fell off one of the table and smashed, with sound effects from behind the curtain. My glass only went into two pieces and Caden helped me rectify it. Note to self: Don't pick up anything that is glass. 
2. I blew one line in the Japanese scene. I fixed it but it flustered me slightly. Then I had to fix part of the whole scene because the lead in that scene keeps dropping lines. I got a little freaked and in my head it was like (really, this is what it felt like) Gah--what do I do now? I don't know that I fixed it perfectly, but I did fix it and didn't think I could do that. Yeah me!
3. I am supposed to bang a big metal gong. I banged it so hard the banger thing came off of the string it was tied to. No I didn't technically break it, but it was a little freaky that I had been in two scenes and two things broke. 
4. The fireplace in the mansion scene fell over. I had nothing to do with it! So ha. Things happen to other people, too! I guess it wasn't tragic as it's a scene that has ghosts. Maybe the audience thought the ghosts were supposed to knock over the fireplace.
5. My final scene that has me as an English Society lady, Lady Chattaway, is my favorite scene and one I completely screwed up last night. But--drum roll--tonight it was flawless! And super fun! I heard afterward that the audience, all 20 or so people, really liked we three silly ladies.

I consider this a successful opening night. A few more things:

1. There are no divas in this show. This makes the energy so much more level, pleasurable, and consistent. There is no drama. 
2. Everyone is working hard in this show. Though it doesn't seem like work, I can feel it. Like we are all part of a whole, working for one purpose. I guess that goes back to the lack of diva thing. We all want the same thing--a good show.
3. Though I have laughingly said in the past few weeks, I don't care what happens in the show as long as I look good, that wasn't me being a diva. What I meant was, please God, don't let me look like an ass. This has now changed to, please, let me contribute to and not detract from a good production.

I am sad that we only have two more shows because I think all the bugs will be worked out by the time our run is over. That being said, I think this is a lovely, successful, sincere beginning to a group that plans on putting on shows in the month of October every year during Spanish Fork's Harvest Moon Hurrah celebration. How honored I am to be a part of this!

http://www.spanishfork.org/dept/parkrec/arts/hurrah.php
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Up and Down and Memorizing Sucks

I had hoped with the blog that I could keep everything separate. This blog would be about this (like about a certain play or something), while that blog was about simply this one thing.

Today that's not really working out. See, I had a really cool thing happen--a really amazing thing really. But I need to start earlier. As I travel around reviewing plays, I've gotten to know people. Some have become friends. (And some not, but I won't go there today.) One friend, Jeff, works for a theater company in Salt Lake City--the Off Broadway Theater (OBT). Jeff and I have hit it off and remained in contact. He blessed me by attending "Hairspray" and telling me he liked it.

Without going into details (that are altogether fascinating and what I consider a miracle but I'm too tired to type out right now) Jeff got me an audition for the OBT for their Christmas show. I know it sounds weird, but they're doing a show with a Sesame Street--Mr. Rogers--Suessical theme. I went to the assistant director's house today and auditioned because the call backs for the show are tomorrow. I will be busy with opening night for "Impossible Mystery."

Long story short--the audition was super fun! Wendy liked me, said I have "good diction" (preening--really?) I asked, "So you don't think I sound like a Poindexter?" She said no. Yeah! She said she felt a real connection with me. She said, "If you don't get cast in this show, keep auditioning, and when I do my own shows (she also directs) I'll let you know. I want you in my show."

Okay, wow.

I drove home intermittently crying--feeling blessed.

Then I went to dress rehearsal for "Impossible Mystery." I forgot half my lines, and I don't have too many. Everything felt all flustered, disorganized. I was dazzled by the show and forgot all the timing, the storyline (as this is how I remember things: this comes first, then this, then this). I was completely screwed up.

I came home and wanted to cry, but this time from humiliation. Wendy, the assistant director, asked me if I was good at memorizing. I was honest. I told her I was okay.

I need to do something, learn something, so I can memorize better. This feels like a phobia or something. I want to do this--live theater--so I have to figure out a way to do it well.

Keep Playing! (and for me tonight--I will keep praying.)

Sensitive Issues

I don't like it when people hurt other people. And maybe I'm wrong about this, but artists are even more susceptible to hurt. We put ourselves out there with our art, and we hope it is appreciated. We hope others like what we do. We hope we don't get hurt.

A friend of mine, my director, got hurt today. Though I've never done it before, I hugged her and I felt her relief in just knowing she was appreciated. She leaned into me for just a moment. I think up until the hug, she had those nagging doubts that she had done something wrong, that she had somehow deserved the hurt others were giving her. I wanted to defend her. I didn't. I only supported her.

Why does it all have to be a competition? It's all amorphous right now and I don't like it. Give peace a chance, peeps.

Keep Playing!

The Delicate Balance in the Small Pond

As I jump into the theater world in Utah with both feet and no water wings to keep me afloat, I am finding out that swimming around here can be a dangerous or a marvelous thing. Sometimes both. The people I have gotten to know overlap. Which is good and bad and just plain weird sometimes.

• Oh, you directed that show and now you're assistant director of the show I'm auditioning for and you worked with the person who was the star of my last show? Well, she and I were good friends. (Thinking: I think we were good friends. Were we? If so, maybe she'll put in a good word for me. If not, crap!) 
• Oh, you didn't know I reviewed that show? Yep, that was me. Yes, it was very good. (Thinking: Thank the Lord it was a show I praised.) 
• Oh, you will help me get that audition? Wow, you are such a pal. (Thinking: Am I good enough to warrant him going out on a limb for me?) 
• Oh, you like that director? Well, we'll never work for that company again. And so-and-so and this person and that guy will never work there again either! (Thinking: How can I stay friends with everyone when clearly it could become the 'whose side are you on?' thing. I want to get roles on my own merit and not be picked over because I'm friends with this or that person. Of course, I also want to get cast because, as friends, they know I can do the job. Oy!)

As a compulsive blurter, I know I've already stepped on some toes. 

Lesson Learned: Open your mouth and project like hell when you're onstage. Offstage, keep your yap shut. The latter will be a bigger challenge for me than doing the acting stuff.

Oy.

Keep Playing!

Impossible Mystery--8--The Saturday Before Opening

We. Are. Not. Ready. Many people still don't have their lines memorized. Several teenagers, including my own darling son, are being pulled into the show. Thank goodness. Caden is in two scenes and working the curtain. This will be very interesting on Friday night when he can't come to the final performance. He isn't totally needed in the scenes, but who will pull the curtain? Oy.

At today's run through, I stepped in as Madame Forte since the actress who was cast had a family emergency and hasn't been to either run-through. I loved playing Madame Forte, but I am not going to get to play her for real. Either the original actress will be back in time (how? will that even work? again, oy), or the director/playwright will play it. Darn times infinity. I loved being the wacky, fraudulent Madame Forte! (I admit, I do question whether I could learn her lines, but now I won't have to find out, will I?)

I love the cast and would like to have a get-together after the final show. The parties we had were so fun with "Hairspray" but not sure if I'm 'in' with the people in "Impossible Mystery" enough to do this. I may just suggest it, and whoever comes, comes. It is a little tricky since it's also our high school's homecoming and I did want to go to the end of the game, and Caden was invited to a "losers' party" for anyone not going to Homecoming (some kids are too young...like my 15-year-old son) and he would have to come straight from the game to the cast party. Oy. What to do?

Right now, I'm too drained to make a decision. But by Monday, on tech night, and Tuesday, dress rehearsal (WE ARE NOT READY), I will want to create a fun gathering.

The truth is, there are some fun people in this show. And there are some stick in the muds. Or maybe I'm just too out there for some people to want to hang out with me. Oy. Maybe I should just focus on getting through the show.

And we are getting reviewed on Wednesday--opening night. WE ARE NOT READY.

Keep playing!