"A Roof Overhead" musings

The run for my show isn't over yet, but the lessons I've learned are piling at my feet, so I'm writing now.
I was asked to be in a show--I didn't have to audition. The play was written by someone who has some notoriety in Utah, so I accepted the part.
I was still in another play, a madcap comedy that was a true delight. "A Roof Overhead" (ARO) can only be described as a tragedy in the most Shakespearean sense. So I was in both ends of the spectrum for a while.
"Backstage" ended, and I mourned its loss. At the same time, I started a new job, so went straight from the new job to rehearsals for ARO. I got home around 10:30. This is when the anxiety began.
My son recorded my lines, and this saved me. I've never had so many lines to learn.
The show has had three performances. I have received very complimentary reviews for my performance, which includes sobbing through the last two scenes. It is hard. Very hard. I go home weak, spent, and fragile.
Lessons I've learned:
1. I am much happier as a comedic actress.
2. I am not nor will I ever be one of the cool kids.
3. Good directors give you help with character development, as my director has done with this show.
4. God must want me to truly understand 59-year-old men with ADD, as my director/husband in the show and my husband in real life are just this. What I'm supposed to be learning about this, I have no idea. And I wish to heck I'd hurry up and learn it. Just sayin'.
5. I can cry on demand when it deals with the death of a child. RIP Nathan Phillip Kelly
6. My friend/director Adam C. is a lifesaver.
7. I am not concerned when I know there is a reviewer at the show. (This is a good thing to find out.)
8. There has been a point in this process where I truly had to turn it over to the Drama gods and do my best and let the rest go. This has been very difficult.
9. Sadly, my abandonment issues have run into my involvement with this play in a way I never thought I'd experience. More personal development work. (sigh)
10. I like having the lead.

There are more lessons learned, but those are for another time, and some may be only spoken to dear friends and not written in a blog. I learned my lesson about blogs that are read by people who shouldn't read them. Or in other words, blogs that I shouldn't actually publish!

As I approach the last three performances, I can say that this has been a strong, valuable experience. My director asked me the other night if I was having fun. The answer is no. I realize that not all plays will be fun. But I told him what I've been doing in this play has been important. I like that word: important. I'm going to be okay with that.

Keep Playing! Always...