Impossible Mystery--5--The Japanese scene ~or~ I am One Hot Grandma!

We are rehearsing for "The Impossible Mystery" on Tuesday nights at Larsen Elementary School. Well, we did last night, but since next Tuesday is dress rehearsal, I guess I should have written, we were rehearsing on Tuesday nights, blah blah blah. Anyhow, about Larsen--I like rehearsing there for several reasons--one being that it is right across the street from my house. Quick walk. Nice. It also was the school my son went to. Some fond memories. The place a cute little stage thingie and basically just a good vibe.

I walked over to the school with my friend Kendra who plays Ping and a Ninja in this scene. I had been practicing my lines, which are so few I'm embarrassed to say I was still struggling with them. I will write the lines out so you can see what I mean. I'm not putting the other lines in, but you will notice my lines are a little random, even when they're within the scene. I play a deaf, old, and apparently insane Japanese grandma.
Here are my lines:

What?
You want to climb a tree?
Oh! Whee!
Tea? No tea here. No tea. Now, you go away!
What? You've got a flea?
A rash on your knee?
You don't have to yell. We make special tea for emperor today. We deliver it tonight. Now, you go away.
You can't see her.
I said, YOU CAN'T SEE HER. I think you should have your hearing checked.
Hi-ya!
No thanks. I already ate.
You say you're out to sea?

As I type out those lines, I want to write out the stage direction on them. I think that's funny for some reason.


I wore my costume onstage last night, over a thick pair of shorts and a big baggy t-shirt. I'm sure the outfit will be much cooler, in several connotations of that word, when I'm not wearing so many clothes underneath. I wear a very colorful robe kind of thing with a yellow cumberbund, black silk pants, my gold flip flops, and a yellow scarf over my hair. And on top of my head--a felt hat, double black felt, I'll have you know, that is shaped in a circle with a pointy top. This hat is the hottest thing I've ever worn on my head, including ski hats. It trapped so much heat inside me, I had one of the various children that always seem to be running around during rehearsal fan me with one of the bamboo fans used earlier in the scene. Ahh. The privilege of being a 'star' to these kids, and being bossy enough to have them do what I want. With all that color and all that sweat, I felt like Oba San may be the first hippie. (grin)

We had some fun last night--lots of physical action in this scene. Cami, the writer and director, plays The Jade Dragon in this scene, and her three teenage kids are also in the scene. I have to say, her kids were hilarious, and she was patient and willing to laugh at herself as they laughed at her. "This is a spoof, after all," she kept saying, a huge smile on her face. I will say, too, Cami's costume is very cool. It is a Japanese style dress and belonged to her Aunt Fern. I was aware that anyone was ever really named Fern, and for some reason, this whole aspect about the show delights me.

As we walked in, there was a lot of banter between the characters with my lines, which all rhyme. We were talking about my HAT, and it's as black as a CAT, and what do you think of THAT? I love to rhyme. I do it all the...--wait for it--...time.

Everyone in this scene is a lot of fun. I'm beginning to believe that everyone in the whole darn show is fun, and once we start run-throughs, I will find this out for myself.

Keep playing! And I really mean that.

This is Kendra, who is with two of my horses, Hank (the blond), and PJ (the brunette)